Wide-eyed wonderment

I've decided to move to Livejournal, for the following reasons:

1. I'm effing sick and tired of all of these companies using my blog to hock their wares online, 'nuff said. Have a look at the 'comment' sections of my recent posts. (Blogspot used to have a security feature that prevented bots and stuff from posting messages in Blogger blogs, but it vanished some time ago - and now I'm wondering if, given how popular blogs are these days, that feature might've been the casualty of some business deal or other? Just wondering. Whatever the reason, if that problem isn't resolved, Blogspot better brace themselves for a rash of 'defections' to other blog-hosting sites. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's pissed at what's going on.)

2. I'd like a little more action online (no, not THAT sort of action). I'm not sure how popular Blogger is these days, but precious few people, whether existing friends or strangers, are leaving their comments on my posts in this blog, so I've decided to do what friends've wanted me to do all along and put up a new blog at Livejournal. Not that I'm the kind of guy who craves attention - I most certainly am not - I just want a little more life in my blog.

My new blog's at [http://www.livejournal.com/users/cssays/]. Will I see you all there?

I'm outta here!

Stumbled upon this girl's blog on Lifehacker - this sure seems like a damn good way to live one's life. Take a look and tell me if you agree. I'm going to give it a try.

http://www.metagrrrl.com/discardia/

(Just copy and paste the link in and read away. For some strange reason the entire little menu bar that usually appears on top of the blog-update-entry box has vanished - Flash problems maybe? Will see if I can't remedy that.)

Just found out that the formal name for JMD's ailment - to my knowledge, characterized by fever, a swollen throat and all that jazz - is 'suppurative tonsillopharyngitis'. Sounds terrible, doesn't it? But he seems to be in competent hands; he's been getting better slowly but steadily (though as of this writing he can't move around all that much just yet and his appetite's still on hiatus), and should be back in action next week.

My feet took a licking but kept on kicking yesterday. After an underwhelming lunch with Roj at Super Bowl Gateway (this exceedingly tasteless veggie and rice bowl and suspiciously texture-free pork siomai - to think I paid PhP220 for that junk - we really should've stuck to the food court like we planned), which was made up for by our good conversation, I found myself making my way back to Makati to meet up with R and 'the girls' before they caught their movie at 7 p.m.

As the MRT at the Cubao station was surprisingly congested for 3 p.m., I decided to take the long way to Makati. I ended up taking the LRT 2 to Recto, the LRT 1 from Doroteo Jose (the LRT station of which is, thankfully, connected to the LRT 2 Recto station by an elevated walkway) and the MRT from Taft to Ayala. Haha, make that the LOOONG way around. My Mizuno-clad feet weren't bothered one bit, thankfully (hats off to you good folks at Mizuno, you make killer trainers!), and it was a good way to get some exercise and see the city.

If anyone from the Department of Transportation's reading this, take this advice to heart, Sir/Ma'am - We need more trains! The routes plied by the existing three RT systems are far from the only high-volume routes there are. The bus companies might squeal but so what? They've had their run of the major thoroughfares of our metropolis for some time now; it's about time someone forced them to clean up their act (a well-run MRT and/or LRT system would definitely give these bus companies a run for their money). And the way things are right now, coming up with large-scale projects of this sort would be like pump-priming the economy - putting money into it and making use of idle manpower and all that - all of which the country badly needs right now.

Also, the LRT 1 is in dire need of a redux. Its stations are really decrepit and the trains aren't running smoothly and could use some sprucing up, although it's a good thing they don't stink like they used to. I wonder how much upgrading that system would cost?

I hear there's another such system in the works that's going all the way south, down to Alabang or Laguna or something. Not at all sure about that one, I'll read up on that. Wouldn't that be something though, if they could just keep the costs down! As the people who live and/or work down South know all too well, traveling on our new and improved SLEX isn't exactly easy on the pocket these days, plus gas is of course terribly, awfully expensive right now.

Oh, yeah, over our awful lunch today Roj and I got to talk about Apple's ipod nano. Roj and I both agreed that it was an excellent move by Apple, especially for folks like us for whom raw gigabytes of space don't mean much - ergo, who don't feel the need to carry their entire music collection with them. And of course the fact that it makes use of a flash drive instead of a much more fragile, more complex hard drive means that the device itself can be much smaller and lighter. Plus, well, it's really scrumptious, especially in black. I know I want one, I'm as susceptible to technolust as the next guy, but do I actually NEED a portable MP3 player, especially one that costs as much as the nano does?

It’s the tail end of another one of my long, busy days - this one having been somewhat longer and busier than most.

So what did I get up to today?

(1) First I passed by the supermarket to pick up groceries for the guy I’m currently dating - let’s call him JMD. He’s been sick, bedridden practically, for the better part of two days, and it looks like he’ll be sick for a little while yet. We’d texted earlier and he’d asked me for a loaf of Gardenia Classic bread and a bottle of Cheez Wiz (spelling?), but in addition to those items I also bought a small bottle of Nutella and a three-pack of ponkans. So sue me, I was feeling both generous and solicitous (hey, I LIKE this guy, haha).

(2) Next I had myself dropped off at JMD’s place - he stays with some relatives near Kamagong in Manila - and spent around 15 minutes talking to him (and gorging on his stash of scrumptious Baguio butter-oat cookies). He’s got some sort of throat infection that his current medicine cocktail, which consists of erythromycin and some pretty strong cold medicine or something of that sort, can’t seem to contain. Around an hour or so after I left him, his mom came and whisked him away to their province so that he can recuperate. He’s been putting off switching medicines since his collegues’ve told him to be patient and give the erythromycin another day before giving up on it, and he hasn’t seen a doctor yet for that reason; I’m certain his folks’ll be able to force him to go see one now (he’s hardly in any mood to argue with them). I’m just glad I was able to try to help him get well.

(3) After I left JMD’s I decided to walk from Kamagong to Greenbelt - yes, it’s a HELL of a long walk - but I was feeling up to it, and besides, noontime today wasn’t very oppressive at all, what with the residual clouds and water vapor in the air from all the rain the last two days. Managed to get to the Enterprise Center on Ayala in a little less than 30 minutes; whether that’s a feat or not I’ve no idea, nor do I care. Me being the sweaty guy I am, though, I was drenched and had to stop more than a couple times to wipe my face. (Only after I got to Enterprise did I remember that I’d exfoliated earlier today, it’s a good thing that my face didn’t react to the heat and sun!)

(4) Decided to stop at Enterprise for lunch. Well to be perfectly honest that wasn’t much of a decision, I really would’ve had to take a break somewhere in that vicinity as I was a bit winded. Had mapo tofu rice and beef dumplings at this Mandarin-something place at the foodcourt; the food was indifferent at best, but filling (well, in retrospect I shouldn’t have ordered the dumplings; they were bland and tiny to boot). Oh, and I purchased my first pack of condoms at Watsons on my way out. You never know when one might come in handy. ;) Was a little bit awkward about buying the pack but the salesgirl didn’t even look up as she punched my purchase in; I daresay she and others like her’ve seen that sort of thing many times before.

(5) Hied off to Tower Records and luxuriated in the cold air while listening, or at least pretending to listen, to a bunch of CDs - that is, until I came across Hed Kandi’s stonking 50 three-disc set, which packs a real wallop and, unfortunately, is priced that way - a cool PhP1,750 or so. Expensive, sure, but I’ve GOT to have it.

(6) Walked to Greenbelt and, just to kill time before my engagement tonight, decided to help some friends out with the expo they were organizing in Makati. Got a nice t-shirt, and managed to get my hands on Apple’s new iPod nano for a couple minutes. WHAT a product, it’s another must-have! The demo unit was white and was plenty attractive but I’d really rather have the black version; that one’s just breathtaking.

(7) Having helped my buddies out I proceeded to Glorietta to meet with D and head to M’s surprise birthday party. Sorry, but the party itself was no great shakes. The food wasn’t good at all; the place was overcrowded and was none too comfy; and the company was a bit less than satisfactory. I enjoyed seeing a few people - R and his new date Da (with whom JMD and I had dinner a couple days ago, and whose company we’d both enjoyed), the girl who owned the place and another friend of ours (both of whom I’d met and gotten along with well a couple months back), and D as well - and met a close friend of M’s with whom I got along. Everyone else, while pleasant enough naman, was sort of white noise, even M and J.

I realized a couple things from tonight’s ‘debacle’, if that’s the right term:

a. Dating someone who knows and loves his food as much as JMD does has spoiled me rotten as regards eating out. Enough said.

b. Being with R is like coming home, really. J and M are good friends, yes, but my relationship with them is a far cry from mine with R. I suppose it’s safe to say that R and I understand each other more or less implicitly now (which, I guess, would really be the case if you have a good relationship with someone for a while and, even after you’ve broken up, remain close friends).

c. I really love small, intimate parties. Even medium-sized parties, like tonight’s, can’t hold a candle to the smaller ones.

d. I like Da! He’s a quiet sort of guy, yes, but better quiet than endlessly blabbing about inconsequential stuff, right? Plus he also maintains an aquarium! :)

e. I miss JMD. I would rather be with him than anyone else I met tonight. We always have the most interesting conversations (and some of the longest I’ve ever had with anyone), whether over the phone or in person, that’re fueled by our shared interests - food, books, music, hanging out and ambling about. I’ve honestly never met anyone with whom I shared this much, and to such an extent. I don’t have this much in common even with R. (JMD and I get along wonderfully even in other arenas, if you catch my drift...) Plus he’s gratifyingly mature; he’s unstinting with his resources when it comes to me while still remaining professional regarding his work, and he’s shown no inclination at all to jump the gun when it comes to a relationship (although it makes me feel really good to realize that he’s taking me very seriously). His coming into my life means so much to me, and I can only hope he feels the same about meeting me.

Enough mawkishness. Off to bed now... Goodnight, world! :) Sa uulitin.

In a difficult year filled with so much uncertainty, it's good to know that in the tennis world, at least, things are as they should be. Federer's claimed his third straight Wimbledon singles title, overwhelming Roddick in straight sets, and the vastly (and unfairly) underrated and ignored Venus Williams has silenced her critics by claiming her third womens' singles title at the AELTC by edging Davenport in three.

That Roger won the tournament came as no surprise to anyone, least of all his opponents. Everyone's been marveling at his court-savvy for years now, most especially on grass, and it would've been a major shock had he failed to win the event, even if he'd lost in the final round. His straight-sets victory over Andy was a breathtaking, awe-inspiring display of his skills and confidence. Andy wasn't playing badly at all, but even he couldn't hold a candle to Roger. As such I'm sure it'll become yet another classic tennis match.

The womens' finals match was even more memorable, a real doozy of a match - one for the ages. Their various errors and injuries notwithstanding, Venus and Lindsay came up with the longest womens' finals match ever, and, more to the point, undoubtedly one of the very best. Neither player would give in to the other, neither would be cowed; it was a true contest of wills, and ironclad ones at that. It was almost as if in revenge for having been ignored and/or underrated by the press and oddmakers alike, and/or to rectify their not having performed up to their potential in the past (much more the case for Venus of course), they'd conspired to prove their detractors wrong. They did that, and then some!

Personally, I felt a little bad for Lindsay - she'd given it her all yet still fell this short of winning. (Imagine having two championship points and not being able to go the distance!) She's got more class than just about anyone else, though, and besides, she hardly played badly, so she accepted her defeat with the equivalent of a smile and a shrug. But I could tell that it still rankled. A good portent for the future; I guess as long as she still feels like she can contest finals and is still healthy, we'll be seeing her around. Here's to more matches like that one, Lindsay (well, I sure hope they go your way)!

Oh, and to end on a bit of a sad note, the tennis world also said goodbye to Aussie Todd Woodbridge, former partner of Mark Woodforde, who retired after a disappointing loss at the AELTC (which of course does nothing to detract from his illustrious career). You'll surely be missed, Todd...

Here's a good shot of a citrus swallowtail caterpillar in its final instar - the final phase of its life as a caterpillar, before it pupates.

When swallowtail caterpillars in this stage of life are threatened (or when they're in situations which they perceive to be threatening), they do exactly what the caterpillar in the photo is doing - they hide their little round heads near their forelegs. The skin at the top is pulled back to reveal two black spots which closely resemble snake eyes - another sort of defense against predators. I've read that some species go even further than that, rearing their heads up and moving from side to side just like a threatened snake would.

In case doesn't work, these fascinating caterpillars have another trick up their sleeve - they rear up, extrude a gland called an osmeterium, a y-shaped organ located behind the head (behind the segment where the fake eyes are located), and release some foul-smelling chemicals into the air to drive away the threat. I haven't been able to find any pix of a citrus swallowtail caterpillar extruding its osmeterium, but just this morning the oldest citrus swallowtail cat I have in my collection pushed its own bright orange osmeterium out when I disturbed it. As it did so I smelled a sour, sharp scent (akin to the smell of calamansi, albeit much sharper) in the air, which made me wrinkle my nose, and which I suppose must really be offensive to smaller predators like birds.

Here's a good shot of a young citrus swallowtail caterpillar. (An instar is something like a stage a young insect goes through to reach adulthood.) During their early instars, swallowtail caterpillars look very much like bird droppings, as can be seen in the photo - camouflage to hide from predators. Most of my current batch of citrus swallowtail caterpillars are still in this stage.

Here's a lovely shot of an adult citrus swallowtail, feeding on santan flowers (we have quite a few santan plants in the garden, which I suppose is one reason why these pretty butterflies frequent our place).

Here's a good picture of the mariposa moth, also known as the Atlas moth (Atticus atlas), re. my previous entry.

Some interesting facts about these moths:

+The curving, extended tips on the primary wings - the large ones near the head - are shaped and colored like snakes' heads to frighten away potential predators (birds, monkeys, etc.).

+The long, feathery antennae are designed primarily to help males find females - they're pheromone sensors, just like the vomeronasal organs in our noses. (Just a tiny bit of female moth pheromone released at a site draws male moths to it from miles away.)

+The caterpillars of Atlas and many other sorts of moths stuff their faces as caterpillars for the simple reason that when they're adults, they don't feed (not yet sure if they drink water). They apparently exist as adults only to breed. After they mate (and after the female lays her large, pinkish eggs on host plants), they die.

When I was a little boy I loved going all around our neighborhood, with empty bottles in hand and my brother in tow (and more often than not with a horde of curious kids following in our wake), in search of insects to raise and grow.

Although I tried so-called ‘community bottles’ for a time - I’d try raising, for example, kapok weevils and other non-predatory insects in the same bottles - I ended up specializing in butterfly and moth larvae. More specifically, the huge, whitish-blue caterpillars of the mariposa (Atlas, Atticus atlas) moth (which in our neighborhood fed on santol and guayabano trees), the slightly smaller, dark green and white-striped caterpillars of a certain sort of hawkmoth that visited jasmine plants, the similarly-sized, light green caterpillars of another sort of hawkmoth that laid its eggs on Bangkok plants, and my overall favorite, because they were by far the smallest and easiest to keep - the little green caterpillars of the citrus swallowtail (Papilio demoleus) that visited calamansi and other citrus plants. There were other sorts of butterflies and moths in the gardens of my boyhood, but they didn’t pique my interest.

I only raised mariposa caterpillars once, because they were really too large to be kept easily - their enormous size meant that they couldn’t be kept in the bottles I normally used for my insect guests, and I had to house them in shoeboxes until they turned into gargantuan, feather-antennae’d adults with enormous wings. The other sorts of caterpillars could fit with ease into the spare bottles we had around the house (albeit the larger sort for the moth larvae), so that’s where I raised them, and over a period of several years I grew several batches successfully.

Then all of a sudden, the butterflies and moths stopped coming. My family surmised that the worsening air quality and the increasing urbanization of the southern areas of Manila forced them to give the metro areas a wide berth. For a couple summers I eagerly awaited their return, but I gave up the wait sometime around the start of high school, when summer tennis clinics and outings beckoned.

Over the years my interest in insects continued unabated. I’d look up insects from time to time on the net, or buy books about them every now and then, but that’d be as far as I’d go. That is, until the butterflies and moths started returning a few years back (ostensibly as soon as they'd adapted to the filthier air), and along with them my love for raising them.

First came the citrus swallowtails, slipping into the garden in ones and twos, feeding and mating and leaving their tiny greenish-yellow eggs on the calamansi plants. Then the hawkmoths started dropping by as well; as they’re noctuid or night moths I’ve only ever seen a couple in the wild, but their green eggs and caterpillars started showing up on the Bangkok plants once again. Since they’ve returned I’ve been raising them in jars on and off; I resumed once again the other day, when I found five very young swallowtail caterpillars on the calamansi plant beside our water tanks (so young they're still in their camouflage phase, during which they mimic bird droppings to be able to sit atop leaves unmolested) and around 15-20 unhatched hawkmoth eggs on our Bangkok plants outside the sala.

I segregated this current batch according to species and am housing them in two separate bottles, a medium-sized glass one for the swallowtail caterpillars and a large plastic one for the hawkmoth caterpillars. As of this writing most if not all of of the hawkmoth eggs’ve hatched and the tiny little caterpillars're beginning to move around and eat, and the swallowtail caterpillars are just scarfing down the leaves I’m putting in their bottle.

I’m happy that the swallowtails and the hawkmoths are back, even if their numbers are nowhere near what they used to be. (I'm not really complaining, of course; it's a miracle that they're back at all.) To date, though, both the jasmine hawkmoths and the mariposas have yet to put in an appearance; I’ve got my fingers crossed that they’ll be back, too.

The country’s currently being battered by one of the worst political scandals to break cover in recent years. It’s often been said that a lot of nefarious activities, one of which is vote-buying, are part and parcel of the activities of anyone who aspires to become a Philippine president - but as far as I know this is the first time any sort of “proof” (such as it is) of such actions has emerged.

I don’t want to go into specifics (I’m not too interested in the topic), but I sure hope this mess gets resolved very soon, one way or the other, and that either our leadership shapes up or, failing that, we finally get leaders who’re competent and honest. This scandal’s about the last thing we need right now.

Or could it perhaps be the very thing we need? A wake-up call of sorts, and one whose very magnitude ensures that it won't disappear just like smoke? That way we'd be forced to deal with the situation - but really, what can we do to solve the problem when the problem lurks within each and every one of us?

Props to Justine Henin-Hardenne and Rafael Nadal, this year’s French Open champs!

Nadal's victory came in four sets - 6-7(6), 6-3, 6-1, 7-5 - over Argentine Mariano Puerta for his first Grand Slam trophy. I guess this is his second birthday gift to himself - on Friday, when he turned 19, he upset world #1 Roger Federer in the semis. Plus I've just found out that he and Federer are currently sharing the top spot atop the Indesit ATP Race with 665 points.

Henin-Hardenne simply overwhelmed the comebacking Mary Pierce 6-1, 6-1 in just over an hour to win her second Roland Garros trophy and fourth Grand Slam title. While I’m not really a fan of Justine’s - it’s either Lindsay Davenport or Kim Clijsters for me (and you can bet I was chewing my nails waiting to hear who’d win during their fourth-round match at Roland Garros this year) - I really had to give credit where credit’s due.

So Nadal ends up on top, and it looks like Justine’s back on track and about to zoom up the rankings again. After a viral infection of sorts and a debilitating injury, she’d fallen outside the top 40 earlier this year. After a couple of stumbles, she now has a doozy of a win-loss record - an astounding 27-1 this year and a string of great wins (titles at the Charleston, Warsaw and Berlin tourneys), after her return from her injuries a few months back.

For his part, Nadal's done himself proud too - he rules the ATP roost with a win-loss record of 48-6 and is tied with Federer again with six titles to his name. Plus he's won 24 consecutive matches to date.

Congrats to both of you! Hope you'll be able to push Federer on other surfaces as well, Rafael! Welcome back, Justine, the tour’s a brighter place with you around again!

Saw ex Rh last Saturday for the first time since he got back from Europe.

I’d been asking to meet him for a little while now to get back the things he’d borrowed for the trip (nearly all of which weren’t mine, which explains the urgency) and a couple books I’d left at his place, but due to the vagaries of his schedule he hadn’t been available until last Saturday. We arranged to meet in the afternoon at the mall closest to where he stays.

I waited for him at the mall’s fountain with J and M, and when Rh finally walked up to us, toting a big paper bag filled with all the clothes he'd borrowed and sporting his trademark grin, I couldn’t help but gape at him. I’d already known from his latest pics that he’d lost some weight, but I just didn’t realize HOW much weight. Rh’s a tall, sturdily built fellow who used to be more than a bit on the plump side. By my estimate he must’ve lost at least 10 or 15 lbs - maybe more - since I saw him last. He hardly looks bad now, but I really do like him better the way he used to be. ;)

Rh and I talked for just a few minutes before he had to return to his apartment. We only got to exchange pleasantries but that’s no big deal really. A few nights ago we’d managed to chat on Y!M, and I was able to tell him just about everything I’d wanted to say to him since the fateful day he’d sent me THE e-mail. No more details about the chat; suffice it to say that it went very well, that I managed to get a lot off my chest and that I got the answers to the questions I’d needed answered for a while now.

In addition, and more importantly, the most important thing I got from having finally managed to see him was the realization - something bone-deep - that everything really is going to be alright, and that we really are going to be friends. Perhaps not as close as me and the only other ex of mine I’m really close to, Ri, but 'friends friends' still.

A whole host of memories and emotions surged over me as I watched Rh take his leave of us. I realized suddenly how much things'd changed for both of us in the months since his trip, and that I did miss the old days - that I'd missed him very much - and that these changes were irrevocable, that there was no way in the world things were going back to the way they used to be. That said I didn't go to pieces, because without realizing it, in the weeks since he'd broken up with me and in our Y!M chat, I'd made my peace with him and laid those particular ghosts to rest. Seeing him, even if for just a few minutes, just made me realize that I'd done so, with not all that much in the way of help from my friends - that I really was over what'd happened, and that I really was quite ready - champing at the bit, actually - for what's to come next.

In a couple minutes I was myself again (albeit a bit older and wiser, as the line goes). I smiled and spoke to my friends, and off we went to enjoy the rest of our Saturday.

Typed this one up last Saturday morning, but was only able to upload it now... Begging your indulgence. ;)

***

Yesterday, having nothing definite to do outside the house and no friends to see, and having 1] a whole host of unwatched DVDs and VCDs (some belonging to friends, some my own) and 2] an aquarium that needs cleaning, I elected to stay home instead. As of this writing (it’s 2:46 a.m. Saturday morning) I’ve only gotten to watch two of the discs I wanted to see - ‘Love Actually’ and ‘Animatrix’ - and haven’t yet gotten around to cleaning my aquarium at all (oh,my poor fish!).

I’d actually watched my ‘Love Actually’ VCD, a gift from my last boyfriend, a few months back, and found it no great shakes - great fun to watch, if a tad trite. Just the other day, though, I found myself wanting to see it again, if only for the scenes involving the ravishing Keira Knightley, so I put the disc atop my list of movies to be watched on Friday.

It’s an understatement to say that I enjoyed ‘Love Actually’ much more this time around. I laughed out loud at many of the scenes I’d previously found merely funny, and was moved almost to tears by a couple scenes that I’d shrugged off as being textbook tearjerkers the first time I saw them. Sure, the movie’s over the top in a lot of ways. But then had it been even a little more sedate or plausible it wouldn’t’ve been anywhere near as effective. Don’t you agree? (It’s quite possible, of course, that my reaction to seeing the movie the second time around was engendered by my break-up with my last boyf... Well, whatever. ;) )

‘Animatrix’ I enjoyed too, most especially the segments detailing what was termed as the ‘Second Renaissance’ and the creation of Zero-One, the machine city. If only the Wachovsky brothers, or anyone else for that matter, would consider making a full-length movie, or better yet a series, based on those segments! Something like a prequel to the ‘Matrix’ trilogy. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d enjoy that one immensely.

Off to bed at last, now that my ginormous midnight dinner (a massive pot of noodles [two packs of instant noodles and three [!] eggs], half a ham-mayo-lettuce-and-cheese sandwich, and a bowl of Magnolia's incomparable dulce de leche ice cream) has finally dissolved. Will be seeing the boys later for our usual Saturday lunch ++, so it's high time I got some rest.

In the previous entry I said that my closest friends and I had never been to a bar or club together, and that we most probably would never go to one. Well, the other night we went to Embassy. :)

No, not to mingle with the ‘happening’ crowd - at least not to mingle with them per se, that’s not at all our cuppa - but to attend the launch of Apple’s Tiger OS. J sent all of us invitations to the event, and only R, who’s got his hands quite full with his projects these days, declined. (J and I are Mac users; D and M could care less about Mac, really, but they went all the same - D for the company and M for obvious reasons).

The event was no great shakes - well, to be perfectly honest, it bordered on being a waste of time. The new OS is quite interesting, featuring Spotlight and all that, but it’s hardly a must-buy for me (our trusty old iMac isn’t even running OS X yet, fer Chrissakes. We’ve more important things to save up for). Plus there weren’t even too many cute guys to ogle at, haha.

At least they had an open bar (although none of us really ‘took advantage’ of it. We had orange - Sunkist, for God’s sake - and really good cranberry juice, Coke Lite and mineral water. Teetotalers all).

After the event ended we made our way to Cafeteria, the casual-dining resto beside Embassy, for a late dinner and a good jaw. Had a simple but good meal - caesar salad, some sort of sandwich or other, a couple really good omelettes, great bitter-herb sidings. Well-priced to boot, we paid less than PhP200 per head. Then we capped the night with FIC's top-flight ice cream - oh man, they serve a MEAN raspberry ripple!

The company and the food were the best things about our little night-out. Oh, and the new Jack Spade portfolio I got from M isn’t exactly chopped liver either! I’m a happy boy, I am. :)

ABORTIVE ENTRY. I’ve been working on and off on an entry about my family, into which I’ve made some headway, but which I’ve decided to shelve for the time being. I’m finding out that sorting out my thoughts and emotions regarding my family is more challenging (more frustrating, even) than I initially thought it would be. Saka na lang.

Plus, well, it’s hard to write about such a topic when you’re trying to remain anonymous.

***

GUNSLINGER GIRL. Thanks to my brother (and to a friend of his, who originally lent him the discs), I’ve managed to watch the first three or four episodes of this anime series entitled Gunslinger Girl, and I’ve found it quite riveting, rather disturbing - and overall very poignant.

Set in a version (or perhaps vision is the right term) of modern Italy, Gunslinger Girl revolves around a bunch of destitute little girls who’ve been rescued by an Italian NGO known as the Public Corporation for Social Welfare. No babes in the woods these, though, and neither is this your typical Orphan Annie story. The Corporation’s actually a government-backed agency that handles some of the under-the-table, eyes-only work that can’t be traced back to the government, and these girls are ‘conditioned’ - brainwashed, operated on, cybernetically enhanced and trained extensively - and made into assassins.

Each girl works in tandem with an older guy in an arrangement called a fratello; these guys act as the girls’ partners-cum-guardians-cum-supervisors. The fratello relationship’s at the center of the whole operation, and the conflicts that characterize this relationship between the girls and the guys handling them are what the series is really concerned with. Some of the guys treat their charges like little sisters - Jose, for instance, takes his girl Henrietta stargazing, and Captain Raballo takes his Claes fishing on their off days and gifts her with his vast collection of books -but others treat their girls callously, or worse, treat them as they would machines, with little or no regard for their well-being beyond how they perform when out on their missions (which squares with the hands-off, clinical detachment adopted as policy by the Corporation's higher-ups). Problems the girls might experience are interpreted by most as a need for ‘more conditioning’ (three guesses as to what that might mean).

The girls are trained hard and well, and as a result they’re regular Valkyries in battle. Jose and Henrietta are sent to harry down a man wanted by the Corporation, and in the course of doing so Jose asks someone one too many questions and gets attacked as a result. Henrietta goes berserk, beating the attacker off Jose and proceeding to gun down the rest of his gang in a cold, efficient manner (only showing emotion afterwards, when she realizes she’s taken a bullet in the arm). But this ingrained viciousness can make the girls bulls in a china shop, so to speak, in situations that don’t call for violent resolution. In a later scene Jose and Henrietta are dining at a restaurant when Henrietta sees something she interprets as a threat - the waiter, while clearing the silver from the table, accidentally holds a knife a smidgen too close to Jose - and in one swift motion she rushes to the waiter and slams him down on the floor, preparing to slit his throat. Jose hastily hauls the poor man up, slips him a 500-Euro note and sends him off to the kitchen, while a nonplussed Henrietta resumes her seat.

As can be expected the girls band together, realizing that the concern shown by some of their ‘older brothers’ notwithstanding, the only real friends they can make are potentially within their own ranks - no one else can or will understand what they’re going through, and bringing outsiders into their world is simply impossible. So in the privacy of their rooms they try to maintain a sort of normalcy - they sit and have tea, and do their laundry together, trying desperately to find happiness and solace while and however they can. This might be ‘just anime’, but I really do feel for these girls.

Gunslinger Girl’s truly a touching series, and it’ll make you think. It’s perhaps the best anime I’ve seen yet (okay, I know I haven’t seen too much anime, but still.) Watch it if you can.

(P.S. The song from the show - the Delgados’ ‘The Light Before We Land’ - is an absolute treat as well. Another must-listen.)

***

MUSIC FOR THE DAY. Yesterday, I erased the contents of my ‘Alternative Mix’ Minidisc - the songs on it were getting a mite stale - and recorded the following songs into the same disc (in LP2 mode still of course), in the following order:

INXS’s 'Not Enough Time' and 'Beautiful Girl'
White Town’s 'Your Woman'
The Foo Fighters’ 'Monkey Wrench', 'My Hero' and 'Everlong'
Tori Amos’s 'Cruel'
The Verve’s 'Sonnet' and 'Lucky Man'
The Smashing Pumpkins’ 'Appels & Oranjes', 'Drown', 'Today', '1979', 'Zero', 'Eye', 'Ava Adore', 'Perfect' and 'Stand Beside Your Love' (I miss these guys very much)
Depeche Mode’s 'It’s No Good'
Nine Inch Nails’ 'We’re In This Together'
Coldplay’s 'Clocks', 'Daylight' and 'Warning Sign'
Toad the Wet Sprocket’s 'Good Intentions' and 'All Right'

The contents of my ‘Classical Music Mix’ Minidisc are still interesting, so I’m not touching it for the time being; this is what’s in it:

Pyotr Tchaikovsky’s 'Marche Slave', '1812 Overture' and 'Swan Lake' (the finale)
Ludwig van Beethoven’s 'Eroica'
George Gershwin’s 'Rhapsody in Blue'
Gustav Holst’s 'Mars the Bringer of War' and 'Jupiter the Bringer of Jollity'
Aram Khachaturian’s 'Lezhinka'

Great music to help me while away lazy afternoons (or mornings, or evenings)!

***

GOOD COMPANY, AND THEN SOME. I spent last Saturday afternoon with two of my best buddies, J and M. We talked a mile a minute and, when we weren’t talking, we were EATING. It started out nicely - we had a nice healthy lunch (a couple of salads and a grilled fish steak at this health resto in RCBC Tower), but after that it was downhill all the way and in a hurry - cappuccino McFlurries at McDo Rockwell, three servings of bottomless nachos at Chili’s Greenbelt, and a handful of S’More candy bars (product samples handed to us for free) at the Greenbelt 4 theaters. All that after my massive, multiplate, two-hour-long breakfast with another friend at Circles in Shang Makati. I tried to make up for all that by not having dinner, but still. (Back to the point now.)

I’m really happy to be part of a group with whom I really click - this is my first real barkada. Not that I haven’t found friends before, or that these are my only friends - a bunch of other guys I know are pretty damn nice too, and I’m pretty close to a couple of them. But this is the first group that I can really say I’m close to. Groups are very different from individuals, after all, and up to this point I really hadn’t had much success, if any at all, at getting along with a group, until these guys and I coalesced. I get along with all of them just about as well as I get along with each of them separately, and I’m already pretty close to each of them individually - all of which is nothing short of a major miracle for me.

We’re very much alike, all of us - five non-scene gay guys who’re far from being outgoing. We neither smoke nor drink, we all like books and music, shared meals and afternoon gabfests, road trips and window shopping, gadgets and watches and clothes and what-not. We’ve never been to a bar or club together, and we most probably will never go to one. Most of us aren’t sociable; as a matter of fact D and R are almost hermits at times. Plus I don’t mean to sound elitist or anything, but we’re all English-speaking, which is perfectly fine with me (as you can tell I’m much more comfy with English than with Tagalog - not that I look down upon Tagalog speakers of course, I’m just not all that good at it). We’ve similar educational backgrounds as well (although we’re from different universities - J and I are from one university, M and D from another, and R from a third). We’re all conversationalists, or at least when we’re together we end up talking no end. I can say that it’s our particular joy to sit down and talk about whatever we feel like blabbing about. I’ve been particularly happy to discover that D is also into dinosaurs, just as I am (and although it’d be nice for one or another to develop a liking for military stuff, geopolitics and the other shiznit I’m into these days, that’s asking for too much I suppose).

I like also that we’ve each got our own lives (or semblances of them, haha) and we’ve no need to keep in touch all the time, or even see each other too often. None of us is particularly clingy either, for which I’m very thankful.

Here's to you guys! :)